The O Tapes

Extract from the Social Board - October 6, 2000

Yippee, WooHoo!!
Friday, 06-Oct-00 09:45:37 writes:

    I finally received my O audio tapes last evening!! I am so excited!! I'm on my first read through and can now finally listen to the tapes. I finished O about 3 days ago and as I put that book down I picked up DIA. Anyway, after my bairn went to sleep, I climbed into my snuggly bed with my favorite pajamas on, a glass of nice red wine and contently listened to my new tapes. Ahhhhhhhhh. Hope all the Ladies and Lads have a most excellent day! Thanks for sharing my joy!!



Message thread:

    Stefanie T.: Sounds like heaven Lynn. I've heard much talk of the tapes, including some comments that some are abridged and/or not as good as others. Any guidance out there regarding which tapes would be the best investment of my hard earned dollars?? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 09:48:03)

      AmyT: IMHO, AVOID ABRIDGED AT ALL COSTS!!!! I listen to tons of Books on Tape (I have a 3hr daily commute) and the abridged versions are CRAAAPPPP!!!!*G* I've tried listening to abridged versions of books I've already read and I still can't follow them. So much is edited that you miss entire storylines and characters. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 10:15:36)

    Bill Clinton: You can rent the tapes then ...well, you know, pirating and all that,but whats a little dubbing between friends? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 10:00:56)

      Monica L.: Oh Clintie....what should I do with all the tapes with us then? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 10:39:19)

        Bill clinton: Just for the record I never made any tapes with that woman! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:35:35)

    Richard Nixon: Um not to get too political here but if we are gonna talk about making tapes shouldn't someone be talking to me??? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 10:32:04)
    Linda Tripp: I am the person to call if you want tapes to be recorded. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 10:49:50)
    Chairman of 3M : Tape? Did anyone here ask for Scotch Tape? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 11:00:15)

      Arthur "call me Ah-fuh" Bach: No..*hic* ...I th--hiink you he-ah-heard wrong. They're askin' fer Scotch AND *hic* tape. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:20:54)

        Hammie: Hello, Sailor. Buy me a drink? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:30:24)

          Dr. Laura: Oh, honey, allow my to send you a copy of my latest book, The 10 Stupid Things Hamsters Do to Mess up Their Lives (n/t) (06-Oct-00 18:21:08)

            Mairghread: G'wan - it was inspired by Hammie!! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:25:24)

    Ken Star: I need to investigate this- send those tapes to me! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 12:05:55)
    Al Gore: Tapes, what tapes? I didn't see a thing! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 12:13:12)
    Rob Lowe: Whew! For a minute there I thought you were talking video. Never mind. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 12:15:19)
    Tipper: You know my Al created the internet, and he can take it away behave! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 12:28:25)
    Napster: Wanta know how to download these? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 13:00:09)
    George Bush, Sr.: Not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 13:01:58)
    Monica L: Believe me, those abridged version tape suck! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 13:30:24)

      Hillary : From what I hear so do you!! Could you teach me? (n/t) (08-Oct-00 19:18:12)

    Oliver North: I do not recall any tapes. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 13:31:59)
    Arseholes-R-Us: To obtain a free copy of The Tapes call 1-809-555-1234 (n/t) (06-Oct-00 13:33:51)
    Ross Perot: Now all we got to do is get the Goverment to sell these tapes so the National Debt can be paid! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 13:52:22)
    McDonalds Employee #69: Mr. President sir, you want fries with that tape? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 14:00:48)

      Bill Clinton: No, darlin', but I will take some chicken fingers and special sauce. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:01:58)

        McDonald's employee #42: Uh, sir? This is a no smoking restaurant. You'll have to take the cigar outside (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:17:59)

          Bill Clinton: Can you maybe think of a good place for me to hide it? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:28:13)

            McDonalds employee #36-24-36: How about between some buns? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:25:45)

              Bill C.: Yeah? Oh, I like that. Now where else would you hide it? And talk slowly. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:40:11)

                Hillary: Dammit Bill!!! Cybersex?!! I'm almost at the end of my rope, pal!! And you could at least change your name you moron! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 01:21:07)

    LynnC: Well, LORD ya'll!! You're going to get me in trouble. I promised I'd use my powers for good and not evil and now look at you all! Ok, BWAAAHAHAHHHAHAHA, I broke, you're cracking me up with ya'lls selves. What in the world did I start here? :^D (n/t) (06-Oct-00 14:22:52)
    Dr. Laura: Are these tapes illegal, immoral, or fattening? You KNOW the right thing to do! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 14:30:18)

      Dr, Joy: Let's see your degree, ya judgementa cow! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 14:54:53)

        Dr. Laura: Well, I detect some hostility here. Probably from your guilty concience. Learn to spell! Now I'm hanging up on you 'cause it's my show and I can if I want to! hee hee hee! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:11:57)

          Dr. Joy: John? John? We're voting Dr. Laura right off of Radio Talk Show Survivor Island. Now, I have a cleptomaniac who was fathered by her cousin on line three. Caller? I feel your pain (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:27:49)

            Dr. Ruth: Vow Ladies. Such hostility is a classic symptom of not enough sex. *claps hands together* May I suggest you both get laid! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:44:25)

              Sigmund Freud : I've got Id! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:15:36)

                Eddie Vedder: HEY! That's copyright infringement, dude! I'll be speaking to my lawyers! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:16:54)

                  Sigmund: Sorry, son. I had it first! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:17:56)

                    Tanya Harding: Wanna borrow my Bat Eddie? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:51:03)

                      A1 Autobody: Oh good, you're back to bats then? We tried to order those hubcaps in for you but we were told that would be violating your parole. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:20:45)

                        Tanya: No, that's KNEECAPS, you idiot.... (n/t) (06-Oct-00 22:27:59)

                          Tony at A1: You send hubs flying at your ex-BF's head and you're callin' me an idiot? Chick or not, you need a good ass-whoopin'!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 00:10:25)

                            R.D. Mercer: Here's your 55 gallon drum of Whoop-ass. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 01:30:41)

                              Jeff Foxworthy: Ya Might be A REDNECK, IF YA HAVE SOME 'O' Tapes (n/t) (07-Oct-00 08:51:33)

                                Billy-Joe-Bob-Jim: Shee-it! *spits tobaccy juice* I ain't gettin' me none o' them until they come out on 8-track! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 17:23:10)

            Susan from Survivor: Yoohoo!! Laura!!! Come sit by me and I'll teach ya some social skills. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:25:35)

    CF (WARNING: Potty Mouth attack ahead): You guys are too f-uck-ing (let's see if the 'bot can edit *that* version) hosed. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 14:34:46)
    Dr. Ruth: Don't be embarassed if dese tapes hove penises (or is it peni?) and vaginas. Embrace your peni and vaginas! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:25:46)

      Austin Powers: I've gone and lost me MOJO again! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:42:49)

        Mini Me: I will destroy you Austin Powers,you will never get your mojo back,hahahaha (n/t) (06-Oct-00 18:05:01)

          Dr. Evil: Nub noo, Mini Me. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 18:34:45)

            Mini Me: Just the two of us,you and I (n/t) (06-Oct-00 18:43:42)

              Fat Bast@rd: GET IN MY BELLY!!! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 22:28:55)

      PeeWee Herman: No way am I falling for THAT one again!!! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:47:26)

        George Michael: Me either!!!! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:03:55)

          Hugh Grant: Don't trust a ..... wo/man. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:06:29)

            Eddie Murphy: Damn straight. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:07:51)

          Matthew McConaughey: Hey guys! Try it with bongos! Too cool, yeah! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:08:29)

            Timothy Leary: Or just a bong. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:11:57)
            Richard Hatch: naked is good too! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:18:57)

              Sue Johanson: Oh, honey, if you're not ready, there's things you can do without getting naked (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:48:22)

                Bill from Sault St. Marie: I know but the problem with that is I'm doing laundry WAY more than I wanna be! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:30:34)

            Monica L. (again): Oh! Where do you put the bongos? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:04:16)

      A Hint from Heloise: A handy way of taping those Ps and Vs is to wrap them first with a used dryer sheet. This prevents unwanted discomfort when the tape is removed. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:48:53)

        Heloise: And has the added benefit of leaving the skin silky smooth! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 15:55:44)

    O.J.: You do NOT have tapes of me doing ANYTHING! Those golves are NOT mine! They're NOT! If they don't fit, you must aquit! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 16:17:46)
    Clint Eastwood: Are these tapes lucky? Huh, are they, punk? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:13:03)
    LynnC: People, people, people. I guess I should have specified further than 'O' tapes. LMFWAO!! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:28:04)
    Richard Simmons: All right everybody lets start dancing to the oldie's I have taped. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:36:38)
    Anon: They put the "The Story of O" on tape? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:49:02)
    Brittany Spears: Tapes? I know about tapes...that's how I sing in my "live" act. (n/t) (06-Oct-00 17:50:23)
    Judge Judy: Your'e all liars and lowlife's I sentance you all with 10yrs. community service now get out of my courtroom! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 18:00:46)
    The Scarecrow: The story of "O" you say? Well - I'd 'get it' if I only had a brain! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 19:29:00)

      Great Wizard of Oz: Scarecrow, I thought you wanted it put in your other head! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:01:24)

    Dorothy and Toto: There's no place like "O"! Say it with me -- there's no place like "O" (n/t) (06-Oct-00 19:31:06)

      Glenda the Good Witch: Hey! That's MY line, you whiney b*#%$! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:04:46)

    The NAUGHTY Tin Man : If you'll just oil my fingers, my elbows, and my shoulders - I can SHOW you what an "O" is all about! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 19:32:42)
    The Cowardly, yet, handsome and studdly Lion: Oh no - oh no - oh no - I don't th-h-h-h-h-ink I have th-h-h-h-h-h-e courage to face a taped "O"! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 19:34:25)

      the wicked witch of the west: I'l get you my pretty and yer little "O" toooo! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 19:39:16)

        the wicked hoser of LOL: There's Nutthin little aboot MY O's! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 17:30:27)

    Maria: The story of 'O' is one of My Favorite Things (n/t) (06-Oct-00 20:54:53)

      Baron Von Trapp: I'm telling you, those reformed nuns are The Best!! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:13:27)

        Sally Field: Especially the flying ones! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:29:33)

          Sally fields - take 2: You like O's! You really, really do!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 17:32:34)

    Beth B (who finds it hard to type while holding belly, wiping tears, and ROFL!!!): This needs to be archived right next to green eggs and ham! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 22:57:33)
    Marcie: Where da h#ll is Martha Stewart when you need the B#tch !!! It's A GOOD thing !!!!! ROFLAO (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:24:52)

      Busta Rymes: Martha is out stuffin turkeys! (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:53:53)

        Bustin Seems: Pass the tape over here. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 08:19:38)
        Like I would admit.....: Isn't there a song that's titled, 'I'd rather be stuffin' Martha's muffins'? (n/t) (07-Oct-00 15:40:16)

    Pamala+ Tommy Lee: Did you like our private tapes???Did you??? (n/t) (06-Oct-00 23:50:33)
    Forrest, Forrest Gump: You hosers are like a box of chocolates, never know what you're gonna git! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 00:00:23)
    Mr. T: I pity de fool that doesn't get them tapes! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 02:29:53)
    Obi Wan Kenobi: Did someone say tape? You know, duct tape is like the Force---It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together, (n/t) (07-Oct-00 03:25:21)

      Vinnie Barbarino: Wow, Mr. Kotter. D'y'think those tapes come in 8-track? (n/t) (07-Oct-00 04:45:13)

        Mr Kotter: Vinnie, I don't know, but will you please take the duct tape off Horshack's mouth? (n/t) (07-Oct-00 08:15:22)

    Bill Engvall: Went to the store lookin for Tapes of 'O' and the the clerk says, "Hmmmm 'O' tapes, aren't those hosed?" Here's yer sign........ (n/t) (07-Oct-00 09:17:11)

      Louis Anderson : You go NOW! You been heah fou-ah hou-wah! Why you like O tapes so much!!! You go NOW!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 17:02:03)

    Firestone : No judge we did not know that the tires were being taped together. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 11:04:09)
    Laura Ingalls: Tapes with peni and vaginas...people getting naked...The Story of 'O'...Pa, I'm scared!! PA!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 11:15:00)

      Judolph's Little Helper: Are you old enough to be in here, young lady? I don't think so now get your bony ass off the computer and go milk some cows. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 13:11:12)

        Laura Ingalls: Pa, don't cry I'll get the 'O' tapes back from Mrs. Olsen. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 16:23:38)

          Whiny ass Nellie: I want an "O"! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 16:59:03)

            Mrs. Olsen: Nellie dear, women can't have "O"s only men can. You'll just have to lay there, close your eyes and fake it. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 19:11:23)

              Ralph Kramden: What planet are you from woman? To the moon Alice!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 20:03:26)
              Mr. Olsen: Hairette, you would stop playing those 'O'tapes and go to sleep.... (n/t) (07-Oct-00 20:04:50)

    Red Green: Did someone say duct tape? Why at Possum Lodge we tape the possums to the seats and make them listen to tapes of O. Drives them crazy, and the fur really sticks to the tape when you release them. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 11:54:43)

      Barney the purple dino: I love you and remember..All tapes are your friends!!!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 12:25:22)

        Evil Barney: Hey Get outta here ya Purple Freak! Or I'll tell everyone about the Tapes of You and Madonna!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 12:31:19)

          Baby Bop speaking to Evil Barney & Madonna: Mama, Daddy, I'm scared of the 'O' tapes (n/t) (07-Oct-00 12:47:25)

    Linda: 'O' tape....OOOOOoooOOOOOooooOOO!! please Deeper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 12:51:34)

      Trigger: Hiya Toots! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 13:47:31)

        The real Trigger: hahahaha - stole my line you hoser you! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 16:54:36)

    Kwai Chang Caine : Master, do you think Lynn knew what would happen to her innocent post? (n/t) (07-Oct-00 15:49:49)

      Master Po: No, Grasshopper. Now can you stop asking all these *&^#$@ questions? (n/t) (07-Oct-00 15:51:09)

    007 - Bond: I'm shaken and stirred by these O tapes! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 16:53:06)

      Bond's Lady: Oh James, I'm ready for a re-fill. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 17:29:40)

        Tom Jones, muscling in on Bond: What's new Pussycat? 'OOO', 'O', 'OOO' ,'O' 'OOO' ,'O' (n/t) (07-Oct-00 19:14:23)

    Jack Nicholson: You want the "O" tapes?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE "O" TAPES!!! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 19:14:22)
    Fred Flintstone: Yabba dabba OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh (n/t) (07-Oct-00 20:06:53)

      Wilma: "OOOOO" Fred do that again! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 16:55:56)

        who else?! *g*: BAM ...BAM... BAM,BAM,BAM!!! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 21:16:18)

    Batman: Robin to the batmobile we must catch these 'o'tape villian's and save Gothem City from their influence. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 20:10:40)

      Catwoman: Ohh Batman you are so purrrfect we can listen to the'o' tapes together. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 20:30:38)

    The Monkey's: "Cheer up sleepy Lynn 'oh' what can it mean to a daydream believer and a 'o'taping queeen. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 20:16:28)
    Mrs. Henry - Hungry Hoser: I think I'll have an O'Henry (n/t) (07-Oct-00 21:15:11)
    Tarzan: Ooooooh-oooooh-oooooh-oooooooh-oooh! (n/t) (07-Oct-00 21:55:09)
    C3P'O': I do believe that the possibility of enjoying an abridged tape rather than the unabridges is approximately two billion, seven hundred sixty five million, eighty thousand to one. (n/t) (07-Oct-00 21:58:31)

      Carl Sagan: In this galaxy we call home, there are bill-ee-ons and bill-ee-ons of "O" tapes. But they are light years away and will probably never be listened to in our lifetime. :-( (n/t) (08-Oct-00 03:57:40)

        Raymond: O tapes definitly O tapes! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 12:35:04)

    Dr. McCoy (Bones): I'm a doctor, not an audio engineer. I can't save these O Tapes. They're dead, Jim. (n/t) (08-Oct-00 13:48:29)

      Scotty: I'm givin' 'er all I've got Captain. I just don't know how long I can keep pushing 'er before she blows her 'O' rings. (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:27:47)

    Jon Luc Picard: Make it "O" Number One. (n/t) (08-Oct-00 13:55:49)
    Jim Carey/Ace Ventura: Ohhhhh-righty then! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 15:02:33)
    Dick & Jane: Dick: Run, Jane, Run Jane: Oh, Dick, Oh Oh Ooooooooo (n/t) (08-Oct-00 15:26:53)

      Mick Jagger: Can't get O satisfaction! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 16:52:42)

    INTEL: The O tapes have been rescued and digitized with ones and zeros. Here is a visual: lol lol lol (n/t) (08-Oct-00 17:03:43)

      Boss Hawg: Now wait just a purple pea picken minute! Them O's is mine! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 17:23:38)

        Rosco Peco Train: That's 'O's you dip stick!!!!!!!!!!coo, coo, hic (n/t) (08-Oct-00 20:41:00)

          Ennis: Daisy do ya have any of them 'O's, so we could maybe use um on our wedding night? (n/t) (08-Oct-00 20:45:16)

            Daisy Duke: Enis, Honey, does it look like ahm hidin' anythin' in these shorts? (n/t) (08-Oct-00 21:58:39)

              Ennis: Oh, there's em 'O'ooooooooooos, now what do we do with um? (n/t) (09-Oct-00 14:45:14)

    Yogi Bear: Hey hey, Boo boo!! I smell an O tape! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 17:27:08)
    Boo Boo: But Yogi! That's the Ranger's O tape! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 17:28:15)

      Stephanie Plum: Hmmm........a Ranger O or a Morelli O....what's a girl to do? (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:33:48)

        Ranger: Y'O'? (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:54:20)

    Kellogg's Honey Bee: Re: Yippee, WooHoo!! (08-Oct-00 23:26:40)
    Chef Boy-ar-dee: Spaghetti-O' that's Italian! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:30:48)
    Frit "O" Lay: So good, betcha can't stop at just one!! (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:33:19)
    Cookie Monster: Me like O's. Look like big cookies. Yum-num-num-num. (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:40:46)

      Rolie Polie Olie...: ROLIE POLIE 'O's................... (n/t) (08-Oct-00 23:57:56)

        Cheeri"O"'s (or maybe it should be Wheaties...Nah!): The breakfast treat after the O tapes. (n/t) (09-Oct-00 01:29:41)

          a hoser: This is the post that never ends..yes it goes on and on my friends! (n/t) (09-Oct-00 10:24:29)

    Big Bird: Today's episode is brought to you by the letter "O" (n/t) (09-Oct-00 11:17:05)

      David Letterman: The top ten reasons why "O" tapes are better than any other tapes..... number 10 every celebrity in creation seems to have em! those that don't have will do anything to get em! (n/t) (09-Oct-00 15:40:47)


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