To all of you who have limited time available for reading but just can't put the books down, here's Belinda's special new service: the Reduced Gabaldon.
(fainting fit, supper of oysters and a dead revenue man later)
C & J:
We are reunited, Hurrah!!
Mmmphmm, mmphmm and variations on this theme.
Later.....
Ian:
BTW Uncle Jamie did you mention...
Loghwore:
ME!!!!!!!
BANG! Jamie is shot. OUCH! Penicillin is ruthlessly applied. Rapid recovery. Meanwhile, Ian is captured by pirates, J & C in hot pursuit. Waves, storms, seasickness. Very little Mmphmm; partly the fault of Fergus and Marsali.
Marsali:
I hate Claire
Claire:
Marsali can I help you with this tansy oil?
Marsali:
Actually I like Claire after all.
Claire:
I liked you until I found out who you were.
LJG:
I liked you until I found out who you were.
Abduction of Claire/fever, illness/woman overboard/pirates/man overboard /yummy turtle soup/OUCH Claire's arm is soaked in best brandy. Alcoholic haze... Mmmmmphm. Major storm, OUCH: Claire has broken leg.
C & J:
We are 600 miles off course, but in meantime luckily managed to rescue Ian and bump off evil Geilis. Goody!
I am a wisewoman and healer; 47 plus but still amazingly attractive. I can cook, grow beans, find wild herbs and deliver any baby within 10 miles, with only short detours for the occasional supernatural experience.
Jamie:
I may be over 40 but I am still a dab hand at carving a homestead out of a wilderness and particularly skilled at mending roof shingles on cold wet nights.
C & J:
BTW, we are still terribly in love. Nothing can come between us now (except Ian on that truckle bed in the corner of the cabin)
Mphmmm, mphmmmm, mphmmm.
Ian:
I play the part of endearing gooseberry much of the time, but obligingly sleep in the herb shed now and again.
Rollo:
Woof!
Brianna:
Now that my father is dead, I discover I have another father. Luckily I can time-travel to find him.
Roger:
I have the hots for Brianna and luckily, I can time-travel too.
Brianna:
I am your daughter!
Jamie:
Good God; is this my daughter?? How marvellous! Claire will be thrilled.
LJG:
Here I am, just happened to be passing, with a surprise visitor!
Jamie:
Good God; is this my son?? How marvellous; but he must never know. Claire may not be thrilled. BTW Brianna, did I mention I sold some chap to the Mohawk recently; Wakefield, or some such...
Brianna:
!£££**&&*!!
Jamie:
Remorse, remorse, guilt, action action. Roger is saved, but at some cost...
Between making penicillin, doing laundry, and running the surgery, I never
have a moment to spare. Except for Jamie, that is. Mmm...
Jamie:
Between supervising tenants, searching for Bonnet, getting grandchildren
baptised, and teaching Roger to swordfight, I never have a moment to spare.
Except for Claire, of course. Mphm....
Brianna:
Between nursing Jemmy and supporting Roger, I never have a moment
to.....coming darling!
Roger:
Between being a husband and father, fighter and second in command, I never
have a moment to......a song, eh? Why not?
Brianna:
Nursing a lot right now.
Claire:
Busy, busy, busy. Mmm, what an interesting mould...
Brianna:
Still nursing.
Jemmy:
Mama. Mama.....MAMMAAAAA!!
Lizzie:
I'm engaged, but part of my heart still belongs to Ian.
Brianna:
Yup, still nursing. Heigh ho.
Claire:
Wonder if this one has penicillin in it...just checking...
Roger:
And left and right and one and two..I'll make a swordsman yet, even without
binocular vision. Let's run down a turkey or two...
Jamie:
Why mphm in bed, Claire, when we have this nice cold window ledge...
Roger:
Aaaarghh - my neck!Luckily, I am still alive.
Brianna:
Yes, I am. Still. Nursing. What's it to you?
Bonnet:
Aaaaaghh - my *%^$*£! (Am I still alive?)
Jamie:
There's a war coming, but not yet.
Claire:
Not in this book, actually.
Ian:
I'm back!
All:
Hurrah!
Lizzie:
Ooh!
Jamie and Claire:
BTW, we are still terribly in love. Nothing now will separate us - except
possibly that forthcoming Revolutionary War. Ah well, cross that bridge when we
come to it....
