CF's Hosed Unbirthdays:
A fortnight of silly poetry, Princess Buttercup and Adrian in bondage... or anything goes to "persuade" CF to tell us when's her birthday!

Posts saved from the LOL Social Board March/April 1999



Happy Birthday, CF!!

Thursday, 18-Mar-99 08:02:25 writes:

    Well, I could be hosed (what am I saying - could be?) But today just might be CF's birthday, and since we wouldn't want to miss this glorious day ... weel... it's better to post than take a chance on missing it, aye?

    Happy birthday, CF!

    The gang


Tuesday, 23-Mar-99 10:08:44 writes:

    Oh Princess Buttercup, what will it take.
    Do we sick Belinda on you, with her rake!

    We need a birthdate and quick, from you.
    'Caus Niki has run out of things to rhyme to.

    Whats that spare the rod.
    Im thinking we have to call "the brute squad".

    Merc, Evelyn, Nancy, Rita, we are all ready.
    Tell us your birthday, or we will send Hedy!

    How much worse could it get, youve seen our post.
    The one thing left to do, is a "Buttercup Roast".

    You see CF, all we want to do
    is wish you a Happy Birthday or two,

    or three, or four, or five, or six! Hey, what day are we on anyway?



Happy Birthday, Princess Buttercup??
Wednesday, 24-Mar-99 01:03:49 writes:

    Inquiring minds would like to know

    The date of CF's birth

    We need to ken it soon,  and so

    We might party down with mirth.

    Please give it up, sweet lassie dear

    And tell us your great date.

    For, if you don't, we Ladies fear

    What could be your lustee's fate...

    We'll hold Adrian hostage!!

    (The sacrifices we're willing to make, aye?)

    Tell us. CF!!!

    And Happy Birthday, maybe

    The Gang


Took me awhile to pull myself off the floor, but....
Wednesday, 24-Mar-99 17:30:50 writes:

    I have to share with all of you what I got in the mail today from wonderful, lovely, kind, generous, and totally hosed Lady Dianne. An autographed copy of "Conspiracy in Death" signed:


    Happy Birthday

    JD Robb

    Too bad it isn't really my birthday, but I'm still gonna cherish this forever.

    (Sekrit msg to Robin: I'd offer to untwist your panty hose, but I'm afraid people would talk.)

    Princess Buttercup


All right, you hosers!
Thursday, 25-Mar-99 14:05:56 writes:

    I’ve amassed the commando deer, and the kamikazi squirrels that my dogs have always insisted were about to attack my house (the wild turkeys are just too stupid, so they’ll stay behind). We’ve run drills, and all sorts of scenarios all morning. So, along with the Doberman (she is *not* a Chihuahua on steroids, no matter what she thinks), and the Collie, who will leave a trail of shed hair for us to follow back, I think we’re ready.


    We shall fight for untruth, no justice, and the American way of, "Reason? We don’t need no steekin’ reason." (oops, sorry Adrian, I got carried away. There really is a reason here, isn’t there? They aren’t hurting you too badly, are they? Oh? Well, I promised to kiss it, and make it alllllllll better later.)

    Princess Buttercup


Well, you guys have me backed into a corner.
Thursday, 25-Mar-99 22:38:32 writes:

    You mean, villianous persons of the LOL persuasion are holding my fair lord hostage. You have been performing vile acts of torture and *other things* upon him, and this must stop.

    Shut-up, Adrian. I don't care if you like it.

    Anyway, where was I? ...oh yes.

    So, do I crumble in the face of adversity? Do I bow before your treachery? Do I sacrifice my honor in order to save the object of my prurient thoughts? It has been a tough choice. I've thought long and hard :::snerk::: about it, and I've "come" to the conclusion of: ........................................Eh, seen one sausage, you've seen 'em all.

    Nice knowing ya, Adrian!

    I wonder where that lovely fellow Dougray Scott is? Or the lad who plays Will on Will and Grace. McCormick, I believe his name is. Yes...he has a wonderful smile. Or Joseph Fiennes. He may be young, but he's trainable, and oh, those eyes. Or what about the chap Grayson McCouch (I *think* that's his name). I've only seen a couple of pictures of him; I've no idea who he is, but I was rather impressed. Yeah. Who needs Adrian? There are so many other options available. I mean, with the FW, and Sues "tied" up with Adrian, I'm sure they've left Liam, um, unprotected. Yeah....that's the ticket. Oh Liam!

    Princess Buttercup


Happy Birthday, CF!!!
Thursday, 25-Mar-99 00:32:32 writes:

    Is it today, dear Buttercup?

    Asks Adrian from his cell,

    Will you please just give it up?

    And say today you'll tell?

    The Ladies, they are using me

    For their wicked schemes.

    They have sinful plans, you see

    From their Jamie dreams.

    So can you tell them all

    And soon, you stubborn lass

    The day on which your birth did fall

      Stop being such a...


    Tell, tell, Princess Buttercup!!!

    The Gang


Ransom Note!
Thursday, 25-Mar-99 18:40:58 writes:


    We are holding dear Adrian ransom,
    Yes, it's a fact! It's true!
    We all agree that he's handsome,
    and he's sexy and virile too!

    If our demands are not met soon,
    We will make you sorry you didn't tell!
    Sweet poems we'll continue to croon,
    and make your life living hell!

    What proof do we have of our capture?
    Some evidence will soon arrive.
    We are keeping him in a state of rapture!
    I'm not sure how long he can stay alive!

    So if you want back your hunk,
    heed our advice and tell us the day.
    We can attest Adrian's no monk!
    So come on now, what do you say?

    The Adrian-nappers!

    The Gang


CF's secret Birthday present......
Thursday, 25-Mar-99 21:33:12 writes:

    Oh dearest Princess Buttercup.....
    As I cruised the web for the ultimate shopping bargain I ran across a perfect birthday present for you..... so perfect.... right up your alley...... BUT


    photo ID will do nicely!

    Wouldn't you just luv to know what it is?

    Laird JP grinning verra big!

    Laird JP


Happy Birthday, CF!!!
Thursday, 25-Mar-99 23:18:46 writes:

    The Slave of Stubborness

    P>For pity my unlonely state
    The Ladies keep me up too late.
    No rest for this weary guy,
    Keep it up must I,
    All for the lack of a birthday date?

    Now I know all of the birds and the bees.
    Now I must stay up or they call me a tease.
    Who would have thought,
    That I'd have been caught,
    And bound and told to please.

    A group of matrons fair, with lusts beyond compare.
    Some young, some gray, all gathered from far away.
    My crime is not,
    Or at least I forgot,
    For what it is I pay.

    The Ladies will someday win.
    I'm living in such sin.
    My crime was surely great
    To deserve this awful  fate.
    CF, please say you'll give in?

    Found in an empty Viagra bottle washed up on an unidentified beach

    The Gang


poor poor adrian:)
Friday, 26-Mar-99 23:19:33 writes:

    Kisses -kisses on adrian Paul
    I cant wait to blow them to see where they fall
    His body so hot -his touch so warm
    He's not resisting me anymore ...

    He begs and he pleads -he even gets down on his knees...
    tis not my birthday -but what a fine present he makes
    To bad Cf missed out on this beefcake!!!!

    I send you this pic as proof of my day -I know I am busy but from LOL I can not stay away!!!
    Oh Adrain is calling so I must go...poor CF -all the joy she will never know ....
    To Adrian I whisper -"there can only be one" you lassies I whisper "Who'd ever guess this could be so much fun"?

    by the way -i had a dream the other night about me and jamie -what else?? lol -and he said "there can only be one" and i waswhispering to him that that was him -he was the only one. strokin the ego -ya know?? lol -anyway -brings a whole new meaning to it for me -anyone know where you cvan get that shirt?
    have i mentioned that i am soooooo pathetic!!!
    btw -i just gotta tell ya -when i came aboard a few months ago i said " i will never be as bad as those girls are"!!!!! oooh yeah -who was i kidding!!!! ive named a soap after jamie -i look for dragonfly clips ---ooh hhh ya -im just as bad as you:):) -but glad to be a part of this wacky family:)



Who did the wallpaper?
Friday, 26-Mar-99 12:50:32 writes:

    TOO FUNNY! This has to be my favorite wallpaper, I love you guys! Thank-you for making me laugh everyday!

    M&M whos responsible for the kiss mark on Adrians behind!


Saturday, 27-Mar-99 19:30:33 writes:

    "I was bored on the ninth of Octover, when the Nasties were booming us."

    Oops...wrong date. Anyone recognize the quote?

    O-K. Here it is. Is everyone sitting down?

    February 30th.*

    *"Why would I tell the truth?" Methos, Highlander: the Series episode "Finale I"



Happy Birthday, CF!!! Happy Birthday, CF!!!
Saturday, 27-Mar-99 16:07:45 writes:

    We might be quite diverted

    With our houseguest of late

    We may even be perverted


    Happy Birthday (just in case)

    The Gang


Today is CF's Birthday!!!
Thursday, 01-Apr-99 00:14:50 writes:

    Other people born on this day:
    Sergei Rachmaninoff,  Lon Chaney, Wallace Beery, Toshiro Mifune, Anne McCaffrey, Grace Lee Whitney, Gordon Jump, Debbie Reynolds, Ali MacGraw, Annette O'Toole, and the character of Amanda Carrington from "Melrose Place".

    Other events that ocurrred on this day:
    In 64, B.C., Jeannie, the character played by Barbara Eden in the series "I Dream of Jeannie" is born. The storyline places her birthday on April 1st, 64 BC.  This makes her almost as old as CF.

    In 1548, Parliament orders "The Book of Common Prayer" printed English.  

    In 1778, Oliver Pollock, a New Orleans Businessman, created the dollar "$" symbol.

    In 1820, the  Scots Insurrection took place.

    In 1829, The Harmonicon proclaimed that a certain symphony was "infinitely too lengthy" and predicted that would therefore, quote, "fall into disuse." Which symphony?  The Eroica.

    In 1889, the first dishwashing machine was marketed in Chicago.

    In 1929, Louie Marx introduces yo-yo.

    In 1931, pitcher Jackie Mitchell was signed by the Chattanooga Baseball Club. Yeah? So? Well, Mitchell was the first woman in organized baseball. Miss Mitchell was 19 years old. So there...

    In 1976, Stephen Wozniak & Steven Jobs founded Apple Computers.

    Also in 1976, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in which Susan Sarandon is seduced by a sweet transvestite from outer space, began its second and much more successful life as the midnight show at the Waverly Theater in New York City's Greenwich Village.

    In 1987, Steve Newman became the first man to walk solo around the world. No joke! The 15,000-mile trek took him four years and untold pairs of shoes to complete.

    In 1990, it becomes illegal in Salem, Oregon to be within two feet of nude dancers.  But I suppose it's O-K to get close if he's wearing a g-string.

    Thursday is Di-Ardaoin in Scots Gaelic.

    April is International Twit Award Month.

    In ancient Rome, the Fortuna Virilis (Birth of Venus) was held each year on this date to celebrate the birth of the Goddess of love and fertility, Venus.

    In ancient Egypt, April first was known as the Day of Hathor, observed annually to honor the mother of all the Deities and Goddess of the Moon. Seven aspects of her, called the Seven Hathors, were said by the Egyptians to be the Holy Midwives and associated with the seven planets. It was her duty to carry the Sacred Eye of Ra.

    Today is Holy Thursday or Maundy Thursday in most Christian observances.

    Today is the first day of Passover or Pesach (the Feast of Deliverance) for those of Jewish faith.

    The annual Festival of Kali is held on this date in India.

    Today is Chicken Little Awards Day in the US.

    Happy Birthday CF!!!!



Och, lasses and laddies:
Thursday, 01-Apr-99 14:09:03 writes:

    I don't know how to break this to you, so I'm gonna lie thru my teeth. April 1st is now my birthday. And March 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25...well, you get the picture. In a way, it's kind of cool. You see, with all the birthdays I've had recently, now Duncan and I are the same age. Oooh baby!

    And the lad does look a bit peaked, or perhaps that's just pissed. Whichever it is, this is still my favorite pic of him.

    "Why would I tell the truth? PB asked, proud that she'd learned her lesson well from Methos.

    Princess Buttercup

A wee gift for the 'foolish' birthday? girl.......
Thursday, 01-Apr-99 12:41:24


Today REALLY IS CF's Birthday!!!
Monday, 12-Apr-99 00:09:55 writes:

    Other people born on this day:
    David Letterman, Samuel F.B. Morse, Claire Danes, Herbie Hancock, Maria Callas, David Cassidy, Shannen Doherty, Tiny Tim,  Andy Garcia, Tom Clancy, Vince Gill and Ed O'Neill (the actor who played Al Bundy on Married With Children).

    Other events that occurred this day:
    In 1385, John without Fear marries Margaretha of Brabant.  What do you suppose he should have been afraid of?

    In 1550,  Edward
    De Vere
    , 17th Earl of Oxford is born.  Big deal?  Well, yes, I suppose--at least to a great many people. There are quite a few folks out there who believe the good Earl was the author of William Shakespeare's sonnets and plays.  If you think there are a lot of conspiracy theories about JFK's assassination, just check out the links I just gave you some night when you can't sleep.  It's fascinating.

    In 1606, James I proclaims the national flag of Great Britain by combining the cross of St. George and the saltire of St. Andrew. This was the original version of the  Union Jack.

    In 1709, the London paper "The Tattler" was first published.

    In 1847, Yung Wing, a Chinese student, arrived in America this day. He went on to become the first student
    from China to graduate from Yale University.

    In 1853, Sir James Mackenzie (don't you love that name) was born in  Scotland.  He became a cardiologist and pioneered the study of arrhythmias.

    In 1903, the UK introduced Municipal Bus Service.

    In 1934, The Big  Wind : the highest velocity natural wind ever recorded occurred on the Mt. Washington N.H. observatory at 231 MPH  (that is 371 KPH for you metric types).

    In 1961, Yuri Gagarin became the first man to orbit the earth in space.

    In 1985,  Federal inspectors declared that four animals of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus were not unicorns as the circus said, but goats with horns which had been surgically implanted. The circus was ordered to quit advertising the fake unicorns as anything else but goats.

    In 1992, Euro Disney opens in Marne-la-Vallee France.

    Monday is Di-Luain in  Scots  Gaelic.

    In ancient Rome, the Ceralia, or the Return of Prosperine, was observed annually on this date to celebrate the daughter of Ceres return to the Earth, and in order to secure the fertility
    of the crops. Lasting eight days, it was the time of planting grain. Our word "cereal" comes from the name Ceres.

    Chu-Si-Nu, the Goddess who presides over birth, is honored annually on this day in Taiwan with a religious festival. Women who are pregnant arrive at her temples on this day to receive blessings for their unborn children.

    April 12  is Ougadi in Mauritius, and Halifax Independence Day in North Carolina.  In the US it's:  The Day of Societal Awareness, Hate-the-Military Day (but as a former  Marine  I'm hoping you folks will forgo celebrating that one), The Festival to Preserve Corn, The Egg and Dairy Festival, National Licorice Day and Thank
    Your School Librarian Day.

    This is Be Kind to Animals Week in the US.

    April is Pets Are Wonderful Month in the US.

    Happy Birthday Princess Buttercup!!!


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